Known to be Quite Vexing
by disneylover3212008
Summary: Harley Quinn finds herself falling in another world and inevitably ends up in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s custody. Unable to keep her out of trouble in captivity, she is assigned to accompany Captain Rogers on missions to keep her more murderous instincts in check. Along the way everyone gets more than they bargained for, none of what they expected and perhaps what they always needed.


**Known to be Quite Vexing**

_Prologue_

"_Normal is a setting on the dryer. People like us, we don't get normal."_

**XXX**

Steve Rogers did not have a good feeling going into this meeting- not in the slightest. He had heard remarkably little from Nick Fury following The Battle of New York, receiving his commands mostly through Sitwell and Hill.

Once "The Avengers", a term Stark has copyrighted immediately after the fight without consulting anyone, had sent Loki back to Asgard with Thor they had all made their separate ways. Tony and Bruce had gone off to the former's tower, Natasha went right back to work going undercover, Clint had made his way off the grid entirely, and Steve… Steve had been left with a greater sense of peace about the world he was now in. He had friends and allies, leader of a team should they be called together again. But he still didn't really have anywhere to go as they all exited Central Park that day.

He wasn't used to being idle, which was probably why when Fury offered him official status as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent he had immediately accepted the opportunity. Anything to keep him busy and in the fight against those who stood against what was right. It may be a different world, but the bullies within it were still very much the same.

He had been on several missions at this point. All were successful, though some had been by the skin of his teeth. Hill had just briefed him on his next one yesterday in fact. His jet to Latvia left first thing in the morning. Another reason why this sudden meeting with Fury unsettling.

Steve arrived at the door he had been notified of in Fury's message and with a sigh he knocked on the door. He would be surprised if Fury hadn't known he was already outside it though with how much surveillance the man had over The Triskelion.

"Come in," he heard the familiar voice inform him, and Steve made his way inside to see it was an interrogation room judging by the slim décor. There was merely a stainless-steel table, with a noticeable slot for a pair of handcuffs, and two chairs illuminated by a brutal fluorescent light that hummed from its spot on the ceiling. Fury occupied one of the chairs, arms crossed and eye fixed on him as he entered. "Close the door behind you."

Steve quirked an eyebrow. "Should I be worried, sir?" he questioned, trace of humor clear in his voice.

Fury glanced around, as if noticing exactly where they were for the first time. "It was the best I could do on short notice."

Steve made his way to the empty seat, noticing a single folder upon it. The subject of discussion he imagined. "Given who you are sir I somehow doubt that."

"Believe what you will." He waited until Steve was seated before beginning. "I understand from Hill you've been quite the asset to S.H.I.E.L.D. these last six months."

Steve could tell there was an agenda at play here, there always was with Fury. But honestly for the moment he couldn't quite figure out what it was. The leader appeared very casual with no sense of urgency or frustration. Whatever this was, it didn't seem to be very high on his priority list.

He didn't know if that made him more of less nervous about the whole thing.

"I've been doing the best I can to help. It seems some to the invasion in New York as a call to arms to force their way of thinking onto others. I've never been much for that philosophy though."

Fury nodded, though it was clear he didn't give Rogers words much thought and was simply moving things along. "I have to agree with her based on what I've read. You're performing at a level far above other agents- handling assignments alone that usually take a whole team."

Steve wasn't a fan of the comparison. "I have a very different experience than other agents here. I don't think it's fair to devalue what everyone else is working hard to accomplish. I can't be everywhere at once. And there are skills I'm certainly not up to speed on."

The folder was slid in his direction. "I need you to take a look at this. It's someone… someone I'm planning on having join you tomorrow under your strict supervision."

Okay. Steve pulled the folder in front of him. "A new agent? Someone green you want me to keep an eye on?"

"Not exactly," Fury responded as Steve swung it open. It was a stack of notes and a picture paperclipped in the corner. It was of a woman staring at the camera in utter confusion. Her face was completely white with a black heat outline on her right cheek. Her hair and around her eyes were done up with red and blue for each side respectively. She looked… well she looked like a clown that one would find at the circus to be honest.

He read the name and snorted. "Harley Quinn?"

"Her real name is apparently Harleen Quinzel from what she's told us. And as you can see by that stack of papers she has told us a lot."

Steve started to skim them a bit, eyebrows furrowing. _Former psychologist. Arkham Asylum. Gotham City._ "Who is she?"

"Someone who fell into our world from hers." Steve shot his boss a look to make it clear he was making no sense. "While the Tesseract was in our possession we conducted several experiments. During one we opened a door and she literally fell through it- complete with prison bed and orange jumpsuit. As you can see from the photo, she was just as surprised as we were."

Steve continued to flip. _Batman. Commissioner Gordon._ "Her world was very different from ours and that was clear from the start. However, all attempts to open the doorway again were unsuccessful. She was very similar to you in a lot of ways, things no longer existing that had been there the day before. We felt guilty and prepared to get her reestablished as we did with you before finding her accommodations. Part of that was several interviews and as we progressed something became abundantly clear."

The pages started to have a similar name appear. _The Joker. Mister J._ Over and over and over again. And then he reached one with the heading _Confirmed Criminal Activity_.

Fury tapped the page. "It became abundantly clear she wasn't one of the good guys." The list was long and included just about everything. Robberies, arson, illegal distribution of drugs, kidnapping, and murder. Quite a few murders including-

"A seventeen-year-old boy?!" Steve looked up. "She killed a kid?"

"So she says. He was apparently an accomplice of her enemy and she was thus an accomplice in his murder. Sent the clothes back and threw the body in a river."

Steve glanced at her picture once again. Fury rose and began pacing. "We've kept her here of course. We didn't dream of letting her go once all this came to light. Plus, her psychological profile shows she has many concerning behaviors and ways of thinking." _Psychologically disturbed _Steve read. "Five."

He closed the folder, having seen more than enough. "Five?" he repeated confused.

"That's the number of times she has made it to the front door before we caught her. Overall her escape attempts are probably hovering around thirty in just under a year. She's put quite a few Agents in the hospital- luckily nothing too severe. Not to mention how often we're having to sedate her in her cell. She seems to have a real knack for pissing off every Agent I put down there. We've managed to calm her down a bit by letting her up every once in a while for sparring matches, but I doubt that will keep her happy for long."

Steve couldn't see where all of this was going, but his dread was only growing by the second. "You said at the beginning of this she was coming with me tomorrow." He didn't verbalize his question, but it was obviously clear to Fury as he leaned forward over the table.

"She's tested very high in hand-to-hand combat. Not Romanoff high, but top ten percent. She's efficient with firearms but prefers melee and gymnastics. That may sound familiar to the man who runs into battles carrying a shield." He rose an eyebrow at Steve who didn't have any response. "And she's also costing me a lot of time, money, and Agents holding her idle. It's only a matter of time at this rate. So I'm thinking we stop wasting our time holding her back and start putting her skills to use."

The folder opened again to the last page. "She admits to having at least thirty-seven confirmed kills! One of them was a seventeen-year-old kid. She admitted to that."

"Obviously she can't be trusted alone," Fury cut him off. "We are in agreement about that. Which is why she'll need to be monitored closely by someone who can take her out if necessary."

No. "No." Fury merely stared at him. "No. I'm not- I'm not risking my attention on missions looking after someone like her. It's the easiest way to get good men killed." The Colonel merely continued staring and Steve folded his arms in defiance. "I'm not."

Fury chuckled to himself. "I do believe I make the orders around here. So yes, you are. Now follow me." He started for the door and Steve followed, ready to continue his argument. Fury struck first though. "She will remain with fifty feet of you at all times. Ten in combat scenarios. We plan on fitting you both with bracelets to make sure that is enforced."

"I'm not- "

"She will be picked up from The Triskelion before a mission and dropped off at The Triskelion immediately afterwards. She will not have weapons privileges outside of a baseball bat. You'll see on that one. You have permission to render her unconscious if she disobeys an order and tries to endanger the mission in any way. She'll then receive some punishments upon her return here that will hopefully help convince her to avoid doing it again. She will be your responsibility and only yours and thus will only answer to you and no one else on missions."

They stepped into a large gym used for training. Agents were moving about, setting up mats in the middle of the room. Upon spotting Fury, one supervising made his way over.

"Sir." He shook Fury's hand. "Captain Rogers." Steve followed suit with a kind smile. "They're bringing her up now. We have three of our best combat specialists ready. I'll be coordinating everything today. All security measures are in place as this… guest requires." Steve glanced around the large room. Each door had an armed agent posted in front of it, gun at the ready. The only empty one was steel and where he guessed she would be coming through. The gym was completely empty outside everyone here for this match, obviously on purpose for their safety.

"Excellent." The coordinator went back to help the others finish up, leaving Steve to hopefully talk some sense into Fury.

But the second he opened his mouth the one-eyed man stepped right over him. "Save it. You can ask me any and all questions after this."

"Again I really doubt that."

"Distrustful isn't a good look on you, Captain. Just saying." The coordinator made his way over again.

"She's outside the door, sir. We're ready for her in here."

"Bring her in!" Fury commanded, voice echoing through the gym. A few moments later buzzing echoed from the steel door and it slowly slid open. She emerged from the shadows first, feet shuffling across the floor due to the shackles around her ankles. She was wearing a black S.H.I.E.L.D. prison uniform that practically hung off her small frame like a coatrack while her blonde hair was dangling limply in front of her face. Her hands appeared to be shackled behind her back and she was followed by two armed guards barely a step behind her.

If Steve hadn't just read her file, he might have been severely unimpressed by Harley Quinn. Even now, he might consider it a great exaggeration compared to the frail looking woman who looked ready for anything but a fight. But he also noticed the little details that painted a different picture: the way she clearly knew the moves her guards were going to make before they did, the way her eyes darted around the room from under her hair as she examined everything from top to bottom, and the slight eagerness in her shuffle to make her way to the mats. This person didn't seem in over her head in the slightest.

She made her way onto the mat, one of the armed guards undoing her restraints and she finally looked up, head held high. Her face was still almost pure white with blue and red. He doubted Fury was allotting her make-up in her current condition, which meant this must have been permanent somehow. He had remembered glancing over a paragraph about chemicals, but the details were lost to him on how this had happened.

The two of them locked eyes for a very brief moment as she swept the room before landing on Fury. There was something to that stare that sent an unwelcome chill down his spine, even though she had the widest smile he had possibly ever seen. Her tongue stuck out and touched her teeth as the armed guard unfastened the shackles around her ankles. She somehow looked the happiest to be here right now.

Three agents made their way onto the mat, two men and one woman. They wore the typical black pants and gray t-shirts that seemed to be expected of sparring here. None of them seemed to be taking this lightly by their posture as they waited, all coiled springs just waiting for the signal to proceed.

"It looks like we have an audience," Harley informed the three of them, grin somehow growing wider. Her accent sounded like she had just stepped out of Brooklyn. Apparently, Gotham City the equivalent of New York in whatever universe she was from. He was still having trouble wrapping his mind around that, but Fury was right in that he really shouldn't be surprised by this point. "So, we have to make sure we give them the best show we can," she continued, waving her finger at one of the men. "That means you, Bob. We all saw how ya' held back last time. Am I right, Amy?"

None of the agents moved. She turned to the coordinator, pouting. "What's a girl got to do to get a bat around here?"

"The director wants this demonstration to be purely hand-to-hand," the coordinator replied curtly. He nodded to the agents and they spread out to three separate corners so she was in the middle of them. With a dramatic sigh, she shook off her disappointment and took a quick spin. Though to anyone it might have seemed like her simply glancing about bored, it was clear to everyone in the room she had quickly assessed the position of everyone. One of the male agents seemed to grow even tenser, fist clenching. There seemed to be some personal grudges in the mix at this point.

The two armed guards stood on either side of the mat, guns trained. Clearly, she had tried to use this as a method of escape before with the level of scrutiny she was under. But she seemed to have no desire to run now, blowing a kiss to Fury before turning to the coordinator. "Well, I'm ready whenever you are. I don't have all day after all. Place to be, things to do."

The coordinator looked over each of the agents, nodding at them, before he held a whistle to his mouth. With one last pause, he blew it loudly so the sound filled the whole gym.

In a flash Harley was on top of the first agent, Bob… maybe, with a glint in her eye. There was a loud giggle as she managed upset his balance and drive both of them to the mat. She then quickly threw a punch square across his jaw as he sat up and sent him reeling. She rose to her feet, kissing her fist loudly as she did. She then turned to the other two agents standing by. "Well, what are the two of ya' waiting for?" she baited them, clearly knowing the buttons to push as she gave a swift kick to the stomach of the fallen agent.

They took the bait and both tried to overwhelm her as they ran in, but she quickly dropped and swept the female agent to the ground with her leg and tumbled out of the way of the other. He threw a punch but she managed to grab his hand before it landed, twisting his arm violently until there was a snap before kicking him back. "Ya' know, I could think of much more fun things the four of us could be doing right now."

This was clearly her element. It was obvious to see as she managed to hold her own against three agents growing more desperate as the fight dragged on. There was no distinguishable style to how she fought. She had clearly not been trained in any type of combat, but it somehow proved to be her greatest strength rather than a weakness. Steve watched as she threw another kick after literally cartwheeling into her opponent. It was pure chaos. She didn't telegraph anything, merely throwing herself completely into a move and simply riding the momentum of the battle. She had clearly made quick study of her opponents and was now in control of the entire fight. The agents simply couldn't keep up with her.

She was winning… and by a very large margin.

"How many of these has she won?" Steve asked, watching as she blew hair out her face after stomping of the leg of one of the male agents on the ground. A crack sounded.

There was a pause before the coordinator answered. "All of them, Captain Rogers."

He then turned his head a bit so see Fury wasn't staring at the fight, but at him. He was clearly satisfied at how his point was being proven currently. And Steve could see how Quinn had become such a thorn in his side these six months. Force of nature, indeed.

She did seem content fighting though, and it didn't seem beyond the realm of possibility that putting her in the field might help in keeping her from acting out. But Steve didn't trust what she was projecting in the slightest.

The fight seemed to be over. Two of the agents were both on the mat with no sign of getting up anytime soon. One was on his side with his arms folded protectively over his stomach while the other had his ankle bent at quite the unfortunately odd ankle. Harley was poised to take out the last female agent, barreling into her with her full weight like a bull and knocking her on her stomach. Harley straddled the agent, pinning her to the ground with her left hand. "You really know how to show a girl a good time," she cooed.

Steve saw the slightest hint of movement from her right hand and he was instantly moving. By the time anyone else in the room noticed that she had pulled an object out of her sleeve to drive into the agent's back, Steve already had his hand tightly enclosed around her wrist. With a frustrated growl, she tried to bring her arm downward but he didn't let her move an inch.

With that, the smile dropped from her face and her eyes narrowed. The glint in her eye became deadly as she brought the other arm in for a punch, but he managed to grab that one too before she made contact with the side of his face. The two of them grappled as she fought against his hold, but he was easily overpowering her without too much effort. She brought a leg up to try and grapple him to the ground. He released her hand to meet it, using her own momentum to send her rolling off the agent onto her back. He followed, pressing his free arm against her throat with some pressure. She became wild now, desperately thrashing back and forth to free herself and try to stab him with whatever was in her hand. But he was simply too strong and held her there, squeezing her wrist until she grimaced in pain and dropped whatever she was holding.

The female agent moved to secure it as the two armed guards moved in. Steve released his grip and backed off as they roughly sat her up and handcuffed both arms behind her back once again with a gun against her temple.

"Oh my God." He turned to see the female agent was examining a bright pink toothbrush, handle end sharpened to a deadly point. Her eyes went from the makeshift weapon to himself, blushing a bit. "Thank you, Captain."

"It was nothing," he assured her with a smile. Harley had been dragged to her feet now with the shackles being secured around her ankles. She didn't struggle in the slightest, having seemed to accept that she had been bested this time. Her eyes remained on Steve and looked him over from top to bottom as he rose to his feet. Her eyes found the star symbol on his chest and her entire demeanor instantly shifted. The smile returned.

"Looks like you're a regular Superman."

He didn't have a chance to answer her bizarre comment. Fury had made his way over with the coordinator by now- who seemed worked up about the incident while Fury did not. The Colonel in fact looked quite pleased.

"I though we checked her before we brought her out here?!" the coordinator barked at her armed guards. "She could have killed someone if the Captain wasn't here!"

"We're sorry, sir. It won't happen- "

"It won't," Fury cut in. "Because Miss Quinn isn't going to have the free time for sparring anymore." He stood between her and Steve. "Instead, she'll be accompanying Captain Rogers out into the field tomorrow on his next assigned mission under his supervision." He put a hand on Steve's shoulder.

Steve wanted to refuse. He truly did. This woman was clearly going to require a lot of his time and effort to keep under control. It was going to be pretty much impossible judging by the way she conducted herself and fought. She would probably try to kill him at the first opportunity and run at the second. People might get hurt with his attention divided that severely.

But by the same token, someone had almost been hurt here. She was not going to stop fighting as Fury had said. How long before she found the moment and killed an agent in one of her escape attempts? But if she went with him he could prevent any unnecessary casualties both here and on the field. He could stop her.

It seemed he would be following orders on this one.

On the outside all his mental turmoil appeared to be was a mere quirk of his jaw that everyone missed- eyes flying to their leader in confusion and bafflement. Well, everyone but Harley Quinn who had her gaze firmly fixed on her new babysitter. She noticed his jaw tense and relax for the briefest of moments and clapped her hands together.

"Oh." She was practically bouncing up and down in her excitement, her shackles rattling at her feet. A pit formed in Steve's stomach as the two stared at each other. She shuffled forward a bit only to be restrained by her guards. She quickly accepted that though and refused to let her happiness diminish in the slightest as she continued to grin up at him.

"Rogers was it?" He forced himself to be polite and nod. "Harley Quinn, nice to meet ya'. Oh boy, am I excited." There was the look in her eyes again- one that showed there was a lot more to this woman than she appeared. "You and I are going to have so much fun!"

There was no way he wasn't going to regret this, was there?

XXX

_Thank you for joining me. This nugget of an idea is owed mainly to I, Tonya where Sebastian and Margot had such chemistry and the idea of Harley and Bucky together entered my brain. We've got a bit before we get there though. The first part will consist of Harley and Steve as they embark on some missions and get to know one another prior to the events of Winter Soldier. Hope to see you all again then. _


End file.
